Blog Help Request

Let me ask you chaps and chapettes...Is there anyone out there that would like a link thing-a-ma-bob over in the links list doohickey? Have I missed anyone? This is of course a distinct possibility, since my ability to decipher the technocrati thingy is practically nil...So, if I have missed someone, please do not think me rude, at least not for that, and drop me a line so I might quickly install the appropriate link and drive your traffic down to nothing, just like mine...Thank you in advance...

Wg Cdr Sir Basil Seal, KG GCB GBE MC JP

Political Universe

Ruprecht Pfalzgraf bei Rhein, Herzog von Bayern, Duke of Cumberland, Earl of Holderness

I agree with RW's political opinion, it seems the only sane one to hold in America. But I do differ from most in that I am a Royalist. Long Live the Queen! Seriously, do you really think American rulers have done a better job than QEII? Or, that the American system, (the written constitution doesn't seem to be doing anyone a hell of a lot of good), is really better than a constitutional monarchy? If you think so, look around you...My only complaints with the Queen, is that she has not yet beheaded most of her children, and that she even allowed the people's Tart into the family in the first place. At least she took care of that little problem in the proper manner. Who said the '00' section was good for nothing?

Oh My...

Did you chaps realize this?...Input "catholic boys + spanking" into Google and see who is # 1!

This is serious, or delightful, depending on your artistic point of view...

Wanted: Dead or Alive

Hamster on a Plane

Friday RCBfA Lesson: Film Art

Who was good enough to be a Bond girl and Mrs. Peel? Why, Dame Diana Rigg, DBE of course.

Mrs. P has more film art...

Irish Elk has more Film Art concerning that RCBfA favourite and work of art Audrey Hepburn...Not to be confused with the bull dyke Kate Hepburn...

OHMSS

Judge Dismisses Alpaca Paternity Lawsuit

There is something strange about a baby alpaca, and people are demanding to know who the father is...But no one is talking, it is a mystery, an alpaca code with charges of "improper breeding" with an answer so shocking we might never be able to wear a sweater again...

But who was it? Wait, no way, could it be........
Well, that might explain the "improperly bred" part...

Update: Speaking through his Llamalawyer, Robert the LlamaButcher responds:

[Wags hoof]

"I did not have sexual relations with that alpaca, Miss Peruvian Lily."

Calls to Steve the LlamaButcher have not been returned...

Highly Recommended...Buy Now!

"Why should it matter to us today what Samuel Johnson said to Hester Thrale at a dinner party on an evening in London long ago? As Stephen Miller persuasively argues in his exploration of conversation and its discontents, it matters a good deal. For the 18th century was the golden age of raillery and wit, a time when conversation was practiced as an art. . . . Miller's engaging book is a good place to begin talking about what we think conversation is and should be —over a latte, of course." - Barbara Sjoholm, Seattle Times

[A] charming (and alarming) history of conversation…as elegantly affable as the conversationalists [Miller] admires. … And the measure of his book is that it makes one want to rush out and converse about it. Four o'clock to seven; bring your wits.” - Michael Bywater, The Independent

"In the sublime make of David Hume and Dr. Samuel Johnson, Stephen Miller gives us a celebration and elegy for the art of conversation. His work at once enlightens and saddens me, two effects that fuse into one." - —Harold Bloom

Essayist Stephen Miller pursues a lifelong interest in conversation by taking an historical and philosophical view of the subject. He chronicles the art of conversation in Western civilization from its beginnings in ancient Greece to its apex in eighteenth-century Britain to its current endangered state in America. As Harry G. Frankfurt brought wide attention to the art of bullshit in his recent bestselling On Bullshit, so Miller now brings the art of conversation into the light, revealing why good conversation matters and why it is in decline.

Miller explores the conversation about conversation among such great writers as Cicero, Montaigne, Swift, Defoe, Lady Mary Wortley Montagu, and Virginia Woolf. He focuses on the world of British coffeehouses and clubs in "The Age of Conversation"” and examines how this era ended. Turning his attention to the United States, the author traces a prolonged decline in the theory and practice of conversation from Benjamin Franklin through Hemingway to Dick Cheney. He cites our technology (iPods, cell phones, and video games) and our insistence on unguarded forthrightness as well as our fear of being judgmental as powerful forces that are likely to diminish the art of conversation.

Guillaume le Conquérant

September 28, 1066

Upon the death of William's cousin King Edward the Confessor of England (January 1066), William claimed the throne of England, asserting that the childless and purportedly celibate Edward had named him his heir during a visit by William (probably in 1052) and that Harold Godwinson, England's foremost magnate and brother-in-law of the late King Edward the Confessor, had reportedly pledged his support while shipwrecked in Normandy (c. 1064). Harold made this pledge while in captivity and was reportedly tricked into swearing on a saint's bones that he would give the throne to William. Even if this story is true, however, Harold made the promise under duress and so may have felt free to break it. More realistically, by the mid 1050s, Harold was effectively ruling England through the weak King Edward and was unlikely to surrender the throne to a foreign noble.

The assembly of England's leading nobles known as the Witenagemot approved Harold Godwinson’s coronation which took place on January 5, 1066 making him King Harold II of England. In order to pursue his own claim, William obtained the support of the Pope Alexander II for his cause. He assembled a Norman invasion fleet of around 600 ships and an army of 7000 men. He landed at Pevensey in Sussex on September 28, 1066 and assembled a prefabricated wooden castle near Hastings as a base. This was a direct provocation to Harold Godwinson as this area of Sussex was Harold's own personal estate, and William began immediately to lay waste to the land. It may have prompted Harold to respond immediately and in haste rather than await reinforcements in London.

Robbo has more on the Norman Bastards!

"Raise your right hand if you like the French. Raise both hands if you are French."

Via Rachel: The Fighting French?

"The AP and UPI reported that the French Government announced after the London bombings that it has raised its terror alert from 'Run' to 'Hide.' The only two higher levels in France are 'Surrender' and 'Collaborate.' The rise in the alert level was precipitated by a recent fire which destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively disabling their military."

"French Ban Fireworks at Euro Disney. ... The French government announced today that it is imposing a ban on the use of fireworks at EuroDisney. The decision comes that day after a nightly fireworks display at the park, located just 30 miles outside of Paris, caused the soldiers at a nearby French Army garrison to surrender to a group of Czech tourists." --AP Paris

Also: The Complete Military History of France

Example:

- Hundred Years War
- Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." Sainted.

- Italian Wars
- Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.

- Wars of Religion
- France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots

- Thirty Years War
- France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.

- War of Revolution
- Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.

French Military Exercise Program

All that's candy is not dandy...

Mrs. P looks into "The Beau" via Miss King (one of my personal favourites), and tells us that she told us so...Though why she was teaching in a school for heretics, I have no idea...

"Back in the days when I was an Episcopalian Middle School teacher, my little charges would often ask me how to go about picking out boyfriend. As our parish had not yet completely caved to the you-can-fall-in-love-with-anyone-and-God-will-honor-you-big-time load of tosh posing as new Christian revelation, these were always young ladies asking me the question. The young gentlemen made a beeline to Mr. P for his wisdom on the female persuasion. Anyhoo, I would always issue the girls two standards while assuring them if they held to it, they would be happy women the rest of their lives:

1. Never date a boy who wears a smaller pants size than you.

2. Never date a boy who wears more make-up than you. And yes, hair products and moisturizer count as make-up.

After reading this, I've learned that my advice to my young ladies has stood the test of time and would have served the young ladies of Georgian England if I had been around back then:..."

Let the secular blasphemy begin...

I say, old boy, channel the hate, what?

"...As we stated above, we must present a few important caveats, if only to lower the number of death threats we’ll receive. First, we aren’t counting MBAs, JDs, and MDs, for the simple reason that we don’t consider those real graduate school degrees. There’s ample reason for anyone to go to one of these programs: Money; prestige; money; and also money. As such, lots of sexy females may very well head to, say, law school.

Second, we feel compeled to offer one slight wrinkle: Any attractive female PhD student is ineluctably married or seriously committed to a relationship upon entering her program. So, perhaps we should alter our claim to read “single girls go to graduate school because they’re ugly.” Ah, heck: We like the former locution better; it’s far more offensive.

Naturally, this begs the question: Why do guys get PhDs? If you ask us, the answer is clear: With all those ugly chicks around, they must enter graduate school because they’re stupid..."

Chip and the chaps share thoughts on a subject dear to the Misspent One...

You're Only As Tough As the Drink in Your Hand

If you’re a man aged anywhere from 21 to 35, I’ve got some sobering news for you. Your Grandmother is a better drinker than you are.

"Let me be more specific, your Grandmother is a manlier drinker than you are. Now, I’m not talking quantity, (I don’t think she’ll be beating you at a keg stand anytime soon) I’m talking about quality. I’m talking about the fact that she probably drinks bourbon or gin while you’re drinking a vodka and cranberry. Let’s face it, when it comes to drinking like men, our generation is a disgrace.

But there is hope. The cocktail is currently enjoying a renaissance. The sun has set on the era of the wine cooler and the decade of peach schnapps. Real drinks are back. This is our golden opportunity to pick up the torch we dropped and learn to drink like men, so that one day we might pass that knowledge to our sons..."

I agree with the American Erewhonist:

"In Rome, the serious men who serve espresso wear crisp white shirts, black ties and black trousers, and sweeping linen aprons fastened around their waists. You feel like an adult when ordering from them..."

"...Of course, such demeaning dress codes are merely another aspect of the infantilism that has been introduced into almost every arena of American society. The fast food establishments that enforce them transport their clientele into fantasy worlds of convenience, fairy palaces of fat of sugar, where dreaming diners forget that the enormous mounds of edible plastic they are consuming is of extremely inferior quality. This is the land where Peter Pan is grounded by diarrhea and Tinkerbelle has terrible acne. The land where the word "value" means twenty percent more..."

There Are No Starbucks In Rome

The Battle of Brandywine Creek 1777

Casualties: The British lost 550 killed and wounded. The Americans lost around 1,000 killed, wounded and captured and 11 guns, 2 of which had been taken at Trenton. The Marquis de Lafayette, fighting with Sullivan, was among the wounded.

Follow-up: Brandywine is not considered a decisive battle. Nevertheless it hastened the loss of Philadelphia to the British on September 26, 1777. The British failed to exploit their success.

T. S. Eliot

Thomas Stearns Eliot (Sept. 26,1888-Jan. 4,1965) was born in St. Louis, Missouri, of an old New England family. He was educated at Harvard and did graduate work in philosophy at the Sorbonne, Harvard, and Merton College, Oxford. He settled in England, where he was for a time a schoolmaster and a bank clerk, and eventually literary editor for the publishing house Faber & Faber, of which he later became a director. He founded and, during the seventeen years of its publication (1922-1939), edited the exclusive and influential literary journal Criterion. In 1927, Eliot became a British citizen and about the same time entered the Anglican Church.

No nekkid women!

Lafayette Escadrille Insignia

I was going to rant about the film Flyboys...But RW got there first and does it better than I could. I wasted $8.00 and the French bird didn't even get nekkid...The nerve of some people!

Harrier BOOM!

HA HA How you like me now!?!

Women! Know Your Limits...Training Film

Tip of the Derby to the Mrs. P & C...

Of Cow Creamers and Men--New Evidence

There has been an ongoing debate here concerning who had a camera and when did they have it and if they had it, did they use it, and if they used it, when did they do so...It is all terribly complicated but I received this photo from a secret correspondent and it reveals someone, without the appropriate inch of cuff showing, I might add, holding something in a "taking a picture" type pose...Who, what, when and where, indeed...

Don't ask me, I just do what I'm told...

Update: Mr. Joke has so kindly corrected me...It should be a half inch of cuff showing, not an inch. A full inch is required with black/white tie...So sorry.

RCBA Friday Lesson

Jean-Léon Gérôme

French Orientalist painter, draftsman & sculptor
born 11 May 1824 - died 1904

Slave Market 1866 Oil on Canvas


Harem Bath 1889 Oil on Canvas

Pop Quiz

Quotation

"People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them."
- -- George Bernard Shaw

The Fighting Marine

On September 22, 1927, Gene Tunney successfully defended his heavyweight boxing title against Jack Dempsey in the famous "long-count" fight in Chicago.

James Joseph "Gene" Tunney (May 25, 1897 – November 7, 1978) was the heavyweight boxing champion from 1926-28 who defeated Jack Dempsey twice: First, in 1926 and in 1927. Tunney's successful title defense against Dempsey is one of the most famous bouts in boxing history and is known as The Long Count Fight. Tunney retired undefeated as a heavyweight after his victory over Tom Heeney in 1928.

Rebel Scum...

On Sept. 22, 1776, Nathan Hale was hanged as a spy by the British during the Revolutionary War.

Nathan Hale (June 6, 1755 – September 22, 1776) was a captain in the Continental Army during the American Revolutionary War. Hale is best remembered for his "I only regret that I have but one life to lose for my country" speech before being hanged following the Battle of Long Island.

Dance to the Music of Time

Anthony Dymoke Powell, CH (December 21, 1905 - March 28, 2000) was a writer best known for his A Dance to the Music of Time duodecalogy published between 1951 and 1975. According to his memoirs, Powell rhymes with Lowell (not towel).

"...Powell was the last surviving member of that prolific, gifted generation of English writers who came out of Oxford in the mid-1920s. Evelyn Waugh, Graham Greene, Henry Green, John Betjeman, Cyril Connolly, Howard Acton, George Orwell and Powell himself were all born between 1903 and 1906, and all attended the university, with the exception of Orwell, who was a schoolboy at Eton with Powell, Acton and Connolly.

Members of an exceptionally witty and amusing group whose friendships and rivalries provided material for their books, they were undoubtedly among the brighter cliques of their century -- though not necessarily eternally relevant. And they certainly weren't the only game in town. It is Powell's ability to create a universal fiction out of the dynamics, interactions and interrelations of his own relatively narrow upper-class set that accounts for the breadth of the books' appeal..."

Anthony Powell

Anthony Powell

Anthony Powell Society

Alarmed by...the seduction

Lately he's been overheard in Mayfair...

I've always liked a Llama of taste and breeding...His hair was perfect...

Best of Both Worlds

The Blues and Royals were formed in 1969 from an amalgamation of The Royal Horse Guards (The Blues) and The Royal Dragoons (The Royals)

Prince William is joining the Household Cavalry's Blues and Royals, following his brother, Prince Harry, into the unit, Clarence House announced Thursday. William, 24, will train to be a troop leader in an armored reconnaissance unit, just like his brother.

William is second in line to the throne behind his father, Prince Charles.

The Beginning...

The Hobbit 1937 First Edition

September 21, 1937: The Hobbit by J. R. R. Tolkien, CBE was first published.

John Ronald Reuel Tolkien CBE (3 January 1892 - 2 September 1973) is best known as the author of The Hobbit and its sequel The Lord of the Rings. He was a professor of Anglo-Saxon language at Oxford from 1925 to 1945, and of English language and literature, also at Oxford, from 1945 to 1959. He was a strongly committed Roman Catholic. Tolkien was a close friend of C. S. Lewis, with whom he shared membership in the literary discussion group the Inklings.

Plum Sauce

Wodehouse? Then get this book...Now!

Public Service from the RCBA

There seems to have been some confusion...When we reference "bob" or "the bob" here, we are discussing a particular women's hairstyle made famous by Louise Brooks, (a fan favourite around the RCBA) a silent film star of the 20s and 30s. We are not speaking of anything else, as has been implied elsewhere. We here at the RCBA are interested in art and architecture, and whatever bird appears in it, or in front of it...If randy artists spent much of their time painting and/or photographing women sporting about in the all together...Well is that our fault?

Dr. Johnson...Look now! Mrs. P is busy elsewhere...And Mr. Patterson, yes...That Louise Brooks...

Of Cow Creamers and Men?

"You know, that's a real little cow..."

"...diminished appreciation of the cow..."

This is about that over there...

One must be sporting...

A few ladies of my acquaintance, who on occasion drop by in Mayfair, pointed out to me that in our quest for pure aesthetic pleasure the RCBA has focused exclusively on the female form (for art's sake of course). My first response, of course, was "And....", but then I realized that they had a point and that we should of course play fair...So it is in this spirit that I present some photos for my lady friends, although Dr. Johnson wanted more of Louise Brooks, which I can understand, he will have to wait:

Please, Enjoy...Nothing better than a well dressed wrist, what?

I dream...

1965 - The first episode of "I Dream of Jeannie" was shown on NBC-TV. The last show was televised on September 1, 1970. Hubba, hubba...Of course the biggest fantasy element of this show was the inhuman self control of Major Nelson...

In most episodes, Barbara Eden wore little more than her revealing "Jeannie" costume. Strangely, the censors allowed her to be depicted living in a house with an unmarried man, but would not permit Eden's navel to be seen.

Oh yeah, Dr. Johnson was born on this date in 1709...

The last time New York was civilized...

General Sir William Howe, 5th Viscount Howe, KB, PC

During the American Revolutionary War, on September 15, 1776, British forces under General William Howe occupied New York City, which then only consisted of the southern end of Manhattan. American General George Washington had recognized the inevitability of this event and had withdrawn the bulk of his army from harm’s way. Washington and Congress rejected the counsel of some that the city be set on fire by departing soldiers as a means to deny a comfortable home to British soldiers during the coming winter. Instead, the Continental Army left the city intact and marched north to Harlem Heights at the opposite end of Manhattan Island, about 10 miles from the enemy.

Let us contemplate shocking nudes...

Christie Davies contemplates shocking nudes and finds the first post-modernist: Modigliani and His Models at the Royal Academy

"The Modigliani exhibition reveals three important aspects of his work: how shocking his nudes are; the skill with which he produced portraits that were both generic Modigliani and portrayals of real people; and Modigliani's position as the first post-modernist.

Modigliani's naked women are erotic, designedly so, and have to be judged as such. No doubt sour feminists who prefer male gays to the male gaze will see them as pornographic precursors of Playboy centrefolds but quite frankly, who cares?

Actual individual women are not objects because they have free-will. Paintings and photographs of naked women are objects and they might as well be sex objects as any other kind. Most gifted painters are male and heterosexual and so, unless constrained by social convention, that is what they will tend to paint. Men and butch lesbians will see them as being simultaneously aesthetically and erotically inspiring but there is no reason to suppose that these are incompatible..."

Brought to you by: The Roman Catholic Boys for Art...

"Modigliani...Now you're talk'in!"

Happy Sixteen...Congratulations

Happy Anniversary to Mr. and Mrs. P...When does Mr. P arrive home indeed! Have fun and say no more!

From: The Roman Catholic Boys for Art

My favourite wife...

bobgirrl posted this 1955 advice column...She, of course, was poking fun at it, I on the other hand think it is very good advice...Of course, feminism has brought such great things to our society and we are all so much better off now...Although equal opportunity for all is to be lauded, we have also found that children do not need daddy and do just fine on their own. And women don't need men at all, except maybe as servants, or tools to service the machine. It has been shown that the world would be a perfect place if we could all just be, well, women. Which is why today young boys are socialized as girls, and/or drugged, young men shave their body hair in order to look like young ladies, and prefer date rape to dinner and a movie, and adult men slink around in fear of a sexual harassment law suit. Men have been defeated on all fronts, which was easy since women are smarter and more ruthless than men, and the fact that many men kow towed and surrendered without a fight (see comments at bobgirrl for examples of this, it is still ongoing) in order to hopefully still get sex...They were wrong. We would actually all be utterly destroyed tomorrow, except that luckily for us, women hate each other more than they hate us...

A Good Wife'’s Plan

• Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.
• Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.
• Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
• Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.
• Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper etc and then run a dustcloth over the tables.
• Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
• Perpare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.
• Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.
• Be happy to see him.
• Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
• Listen to him. You may have a dozen important thihngs to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
• Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.
• Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.
• Don't greet him with complaints and problems.
• Don'’t complain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.
• Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.
• Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
• Don'’t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.
• A good wife always knows her place.

A ray of hope...

"New Imperialism"

On September 14, 1901, U.S. President William McKinley died of gunshot wounds inflicted by an assassin. Theodore Roosevelt, at age 42, succeeded him.

Catholic Boys for Art

Mrs. P tells us a story...pretty good except for the lack of nubile female models sporting about in the all together...Which is the art we're interested in....

Plains of Abraham

The Battle of the Plains of Abraham, fought September 13, 1759, was a decisive battle of the North American theatre of the Seven Years' War (a theatre known in the United States as the French and Indian War). It was fought on a plateau just outside the city walls of Quebec City in New France, on the land of Abraham Martin dit L'Écossais. Combat lasted only 30 minutes, ending a three-month siege of Quebec City.

"...In order to cover the entire width of the plateau east of the town, Wolfe had set his ranks two-men deep. Unknown to Montcalm, the 1,500 elite troops under his faithful subordinate Louis-Antoine de Bougainville, who had been successfully guarding the northern shoreline up-river from Québec all summer long, had frantically rallied and were soon to arrive just east of the battlefield on the British rear. Uncharacteristically however, the usually careful and methodical Montcalm did not wait. In Montcalm's initial assault his troops fired at 400 metres, having little effect on the British troops. General Wolfe however was struck by several musket balls, one in the chest. He died as the battle was ending, the British victorious. The French were quickly turned back with horrible casualties as the British fired at close range, having waited until only about 40 metres separated the lines to fire and having loaded two balls in each musket, an attack which was described as "The most beautiful volley in the history of warfare". Compounding the British blow was the chaos that ensued in the French ranks as the ducking of militiamen caused regular troops to perceive losses as being far greater than they actually were. Subsequent charges were disorganised and easily picked off by the British; the contingent of Highlanders, leading a bayonet and sword charge, proved especially ruthless on the routed French. They were, however, repulsed by significant fire given by the Indian and Canadian Militia forces in the trees on the British flank. It was these forces who inflicted the majority of the British casualties. Montcalm ordered a retreat back into the city, during which he too was fatally wounded. He staggered through the gates of Quebec in obvious pain, but is reputed to have assured onlookers that the wound was nothing. He died early the next morning..."

Stolen from Irish Elk

Which five fictional characters would you like to meet?


Brigadier-General Sir Harry Paget Flashman V.C. K.C.B. K.C.I.E. Chevalier of the Legion d'Honneur; U.S. Congressional Medal of Honor; San Serafino Order of Purity and Truth, 4th Class

Mr. Sherlock Holmes

Dr. Stephen Maturin

Mr. Reginald Jeeves

Miss Zuleika Dobson

Plus: (I didn't steal this part) Which five authors would you like to meet?

Sir Max Beerbohm

Sir P. G. Wodehouse

Mr. Evelyn Waugh

Mr. Anthony Powell, CH

Miss Jane Austen