Tuesday, June 13, 2006

The Art of House Husbandry


"It would seem that, while we gentlemen have been busy perfecting our cigarette lighting techniques and conducting amusing experiments with hair lacquer, the ladies have been engaged in what they rather quaintly call a 'sexual revolution'. Many of them have claimed that they too are entitled to a life of sitting at a desk for eight hours, in between two gruelling hours of commuting, relieved only by the occasional opportunity of barking orders at some subordinate. The resulting state of affairs resembles something of a volte-face within the marital home of today.

To the staunch gentleman of leisure, this situation can be of more benefit than it sounds. Within the bond of Holy Matrimony, we will be permitted to spend the entire day abandoning ourselves to the muse (while the muse herself goes out and earns a crust), giving full vent to the artistic creations that well within us like a dormant Vesuvius.
However, take heed. As the day draws to a close, you can expect your beloved to arrive home after a hard day on mammon's exercise wheel, and it is at this juncture that you must lay your notebook/harpsichord/tapestry aside and devote your attentions to her comfort. Here is a step-by-step guide to maintaining a happy modern marital home..." Read On...